CONFESSION OF AN ADDICT –

HI.  MY NAME IS TERI, AND I AM A DR. PEPPER ADDICT.

I HATE DRINKING WATER.  I ALWAYS HAVE.  CALL ME CRAZY (MY HUSBAND DOES) BUT TO ME, WATER HAS A FLAVOR.  MAYBE IT’S THE MINERALS I’M TASTING, OR MAYBE, AS MY HUSBAND SUGGESTS, IT IS ALL IN MY HEAD, BUT I GAG IF I TRY TO DOWN WATER UNLESS IT IS ICE COLD.  GIVE ME WATER STRAIGHT OUT OF THE TAP….NO ICE….. NO WAY AM I DRINKING IT.

TWO WEEKS AGO, IN A MOMENT OF BRILLIANCE , I DECIDED I WOULD STOP BUYING SOFT DRINKS FOR THE HOUSE AND RESERVE THEM FOR RARE OCCASIONS OR WHEN EATING OUT.    I MADE THIS DECISION AFTER NOTICING THE KIDS NO LONGER DRANK WATER, AND ALWAYS WENT FOR THE SOFT DRINKS OR JUICE WE HAD AVAILABLE.  FOR TWO WEEKS NOW, WE HAVE ONLY PURCHASED BOTTLED WATER, AND FLAVORING PACKETS .

I TOLD THE KIDS OF ALL THE GREAT BENEFITS THAT WATER HAD FOR THEM, HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS FOR THEM.  AND…..BEING THE GREAT MOMMY I AM…. I REALIZED I NEEDED TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE…. SO I BOUGHT SOME WATER BOTTLES AND KOOLAID MIXES TO POUR IN, AND FORCED MYSELF TO START DRINKING “FLAVORED” WATERS WITH THEM.  OH YEAH, I SHOULD PROBABLY MENTION….. I ALSO HATE KOOLAID.

I WOUND UP WITH RED KOOLAID DUST ALL OVER THE COUNTER, ON THE FLOOR, AND INSIDE THE KITCHEN DRAWER WHERE I STORE THE BOXES OF FLAVORING IN.  NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT DIDN’T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK.  THE KIDS ARE NOW BANNED FROM FLAVORING THEIR OWN WATER.  WE WILL FLAVOR ONE BOTTLE FOR THEM A DAY, BUT THE REST OF THE TIME, THEY HAVE TO DRINK THEIR WATER PLAIN.  THIS OF COURSE, MEANT I NEEDED TO DO THE SAME.

I QUIT MAKING TEA BECAUSE, THINKING AHEAD, I FIGURED IT WOULD BE BETTER TO JUST HAVE WATER AVAILABLE FOR A LITTLE WHILE,  TO ACCUSTOM EVERYONE (MAINLY MYSELF) TO DRINKING IT.FOR TWO WEEKS, WE HAVE NOT EATEN OUT.  FOR TWO WEEKS I HAVE HAD NOTHING TO DRINK EXCEPT WATER. (THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE THE OCCASIONAL GLASS OF WINE). FOR TWO WEEKS I HAVE FORCED “GASP” PLAIN WATER DOWN MY THROAT!!

FLASH FORWARD TO PRESENT DAY:

SCREW WATER!! I WANT A SOFT DRINK!!!


THE KIDS HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY FINE WITH THE CHANGE.  BUT I AM HAVING DR. PEPPER WITHDRAWALS.   LAST NIGHT AROUND MIDNIGHT  AS I LAY IN BED, THINKING, TRYING TO TUNE EVERYTHING OUT AND FALL ASLEEP, MY THOUGHTS DRIFTED TO SOFT DRINKS.  I BEGAN DEBATING WITH MYSELF WHETHER IT WOULD BE FEASIBLE FOR ME TO DRIVE AROUND TOWN LOOKING FOR A VENDING MACHINE SO I COULD PURCHASE A CAN OF DR. PEPPER.   THE FACT THAT IT SEEMED ALMOST REASONABLE TO ME, TOLD ME I HAVE A PROBLEM.

AFTER FINALLY FALLING ASLEEP,  I DREAMT WE HAD CASES AND CASES OF DR. PEPPER STORED IN THE GARAGE.  JUST BEFORE POPPING THE TOP ON ONE  AND POURING IT OVER ICE, I WOKE UP, THIRSTY AS HELL.   I MADE MY WAY DOWNSTAIRS, GRABBED A BOTTLE OF WATER AND GUZZLED IT.   THE FACT THAT I CAN NOW GUZZLE A BOTTLE OF WATER WITHOUT GAGGING LETS ME KNOW THE DECISION I MADE IS WORKING.

IN TIME , MAYBE I WILL QUIT DREAMING OF THE SUCCULENT, SMOOTH, DELICIOUS TASTE OF A TALL GLASS OF DR. PEPPER.

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